I live in fear of our children being harassed online in the future.
How I was portrayed, who I am married to, how we met and undoubtedly remained together as a functioning couple means our twins are destined to be bullied at some point.
This breaks my heart.
As a parent, we do everything we can to shield our children from harm.
I’m conscious that childhood trauma often begins in the home.
For our children, it is out in the community.
Case in point: this weekend at our local footy game.
Trigger warning: this video depicts physical violence.
After I stopped filming, Bryce said to the boys on the bench: “I just want to play f@%king footy.”
So he should be able to.
It didn’t stop here unfortunately.
Scroll to the bottom of the blog for more videos.
Footy field banter and sledging are part of our Aussie sports culture, a tactic to throw off your opponent – I get that.
In this case, it worked very well on Bryce.
I’m not worried about Bryce so much, well, I was in the moment. You can hear it in my voice.
My husband can handle himself – it’s my children that I’m concerned about.
This is a local footy match. A family-orientated Saturday morning event.
My children witnessed this sickening display, cried for their Daddy while watching their Mummy screaming for someone to do something.
Other Mums sat nearby with their own children watching this unfold, unphased as it didn’t involve their husbands.
I promise you, and if you know me or have followed me for a long time, you will know that I consider myself Bryce’s second voice, his voice of clarity.
I had told him numerous times before this: “Keep focused, don’t listen to him, don’t react, laugh it off.”
How many times can you do this when it happens repeatedly.
These are grown men also calling another man’s wife ‘fat’ and ‘ugly’ for Christ’s sake.
Think of your child in a similiar position of bullying.
Will the bully just go away when they don’t get a reaction? Perhaps.
How long will that take? If it ever happens.
We know that awful things happen when we remain silent or try to cope everything on the chin after being told to “just ignore it”.
While our bullies are sometimes out in public, the faceless keyboard warriors are predominantely invisible, hiding behind their social media accounts.
This reel I posted is another example of someone’s sheer stupidity and callousness.
This woman made her assumptions from watching a TV show.
So for that reason, let me put this in black and white right now for you all.
Bryce and I both agree, know, accept and reflect that we f’d up on Married At First Sight.
I did not speak up enough for myself.
I didn’t show confidence or strength to call out behaviour from my TV husband or other cast members.
I didn’t role model a strong, feminist woman for the millions of impressionable women watching the show.
Bryce said things that were in poor taste, hurtful or reactive.
He breached another person’s personal space.
He let his ego get in the way of arguments or resolving conflict.
We admit that, we are sorry for our part.
All that said – does that mean my family and I will be subjected to abuse for life?
For there was so much good about our relationship that was never, ever shown – I can assure you.
Bryce standing up for me when I was slut-shamed on the show.
Bryce speaking for me when I literally asked him to off-camera because I despised confrontation?
Spending every single moment together because we genuinely loved each other’s company (which was spun into Bryce “controlling me” because of what some girls had said on camera).
Our TV counterparts, who were matched and remain together today, have not experienced anything of this magnitude.
The network and major companies offered them five- and six-figure brand deals, TV commercials, and business opportunities to support their love story. Their relationships, compared to ours, were perfect on screen, celebrated as successful and the epitome of love.
You know what I want?
I want people to think: “Yes, I may not have liked or agreed with everything I saw on TV, but people make mistakes, they change, and it’s what you’ve done after the show or after interacting with you that shows you have learned and grown from your experience.
A glass of red wine tipped on the head of another cast member was celebrated.
The new Dancing With The Stars lineup hosts a celebrity who was exposed during COVID lockdowns with a ‘white substance’. Her following increased.
You have a former AFL star who has been convicted of aggressive stalking, drug offences – he’s now on breakfast radio and Channel 7’s sports-reading desk.
And a TV chef who was charged with drink driving – she was double the legal limit.
How about the most recent MAFS series?
A cast member was imprisoned for a year for smuggling drugs, allegedly lied about it to production and the TV network. Yet, he is loved, admired and forgiven.
“Oh, he made a mistake.”
“It was a long time ago…”
“I still love him…”
Yet our villian and controversial status remains.
To those of you who have children encountering bullying or online harassment – I am so sorry.
I hope they know that they are not alone. There are services available.
As parents, we should encourage our kids to speak openly and honestly, without scolding or dismissing, so that we can build their trust. That way, our children know that we are always here to help them.
Notice the ball is nowhere near Bryce?
So why is this man going at him?
Can’t believe grown men are getting so worked up about a TV show – that we were on 4 years ago!
This guy again.
Number 16 did the same thing last year – tried to start a fight with Bryce.
It’s a local footy game, not the AFL Grand Final.
In the spirit of reconciliation, Her Second Shift acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of the country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today
If this is a constant personal attack on Bryce by the same guy I would be more inclined to confront him in a civil manner outside footy, especially if this not just “footy” banter to find out what he has an issue about. Otherwise Ild approach the club.
There seems to be a bit more then the usual footy banter going on here. Every person should be able to play a sport without being targeted by another player.
I use to get so annoyed when my husband never spoke up about situations, it’s taken him a long time to make me realise that it doesn’t matter what my opinion is, it doesn’t matter what others think , once they have made up their mind you can’t force them to change how they feel/ think about you. I’m very much a stand my ground and argue my point especially when things aren’t right, until my husband made me realise I’m wasting my energy, if people don’t like you, you can’t change that, doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt but ive learnt to deal with it better apposed to questioning why and thinking 1000 different scenarios where I could have done better, and beating myself up more.
When people feel the need to constantly belittle, intimidate or bully people the issue is not with you it’s with them.
I would hope/ assume that your kids won’t be directly bullied over MAFS especially as the years go on, unfortunately they will be indirectly affect while you guys are dealing with the fallout of MAFS – regardless of how long that goes on.
I must be honest my opinion of Bryce on the show wasn’t high, he was shown in a very vocal negative light. It didn’t seem to take much if opinions didn’t align for him to go from calm to angry, whether this is how he is in real life or not I have no idea, however if it is somewhat his fight or flight mode then perhaps this guy in the videos is seeing how long it takes for him to loose it.
I’ve been following you since the show and I can only hope that things settle down for your family, yes you chose the show however that doesn’t sign your life away to being subjected to torment, everyone needs to take responsibility for their actions, and not lay blame.
This is a fantastic, detailed, intelligent response – thank you Alecia! xxx
Ok but at what point do you stop victimising yourself and just continue to live your life… you went on a reality tv show that is known to cause controversy portraying people in different lights. You literally put yourself out there to be ridiculed and now you are complaining about the backlash. You continue to try and put yourself in the limelight by writing articles like this and continue to complain about the negative impacts of this. Simple don’t retaliate, learn how to deal with your emotions and move on with your life. Stop bringing up Mafs and mentioning other reality stars into it to and comparing your reality to theirs. Stop blaming others and victimising yourself. Sure you don’t deserve it but your husband isn’t the only one who receives a bit of backlash during a football game…..
“Bullying rarely stops on its own – and keeping it secret often means it keeps happening.”
Thank you for sharing your point of view x
So well said xx
Thanks for reading x
I am sorry you all are still going through this! It shits me when there are “news articles” where they “quote” you, yet they have clearly taken snippets off your Instagram stories! Your boys are beautiful.
I’ve totally come to terms with it – just not for my kids x